IELTS Writing Task 2 Advantages/Disadvantages — Crime: Band 8 Sample Answer and Analysis

Crime topics regularly appear in IELTS Writing Task 2, particularly in advantages/disadvantages essay formats. This comprehensive guide provides a complete Band 8 sample answer with detailed analysis, expert commentary, and advanced strategies for achieving high scores in criminal justice discussions.

Sample Essay Question

In many countries, governments are implementing stricter laws and longer prison sentences to reduce crime rates. Some people believe this approach is effective, while others argue that rehabilitation and community programs would be more beneficial.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of using harsh punishment to reduce crime?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Band 8 Sample Answer

The implementation of stricter criminal penalties has become a controversial approach to crime reduction, with governments worldwide debating the effectiveness of harsh punishment versus rehabilitation strategies. While severe sentencing policies offer certain advantages through deterrence and public safety, they simultaneously present significant disadvantages regarding recidivism rates and social costs.

The primary advantage of harsh punishment lies in its deterrent effect on potential criminals. Lengthy prison sentences and strict penalties create psychological barriers that discourage individuals from engaging in criminal activities, as the severe consequences outweigh perceived benefits. Additionally, longer incarceration periods protect society by removing dangerous individuals from communities, thereby reducing immediate crime rates and enhancing public safety. For example, countries implementing "three-strikes" laws have reported decreased rates of repeat offenses in certain categories, suggesting that harsh penalties can influence criminal behavior patterns.

Furthermore, strict sentencing policies satisfy public demands for justice and retribution, particularly following serious crimes that generate community outrage. This approach reinforces social values and demonstrates governmental commitment to protecting law-abiding citizens, potentially strengthening public confidence in the criminal justice system.

However, harsh punishment presents considerable disadvantages, particularly regarding rehabilitation effectiveness and long-term crime reduction. Extended prison sentences often fail to address underlying causes of criminal behavior, such as addiction, mental health issues, or socioeconomic factors, potentially increasing recidivism rates upon release. Moreover, incarceration costs place substantial burdens on public budgets, with resources that could alternatively support education, healthcare, or social programs.

Prison environments frequently exacerbate criminal tendencies rather than promoting positive behavioral change, as inmates may learn advanced criminal techniques or develop antisocial attitudes during prolonged confinement. Additionally, harsh sentencing disproportionately affects marginalized communities, potentially perpetuating social inequalities and creating cycles of poverty and crime.

In conclusion, while harsh punishment may provide short-term deterrence and public satisfaction, its long-term effectiveness remains questionable compared to comprehensive approaches combining appropriate penalties with rehabilitation programs. Successful crime reduction likely requires balanced strategies addressing both immediate public safety concerns and underlying social factors contributing to criminal behavior.

Word Count: 339

Comprehensive Analysis

Task Response Analysis (Band 8)

Question Coverage:

• Complete address: Both advantages and disadvantages thoroughly discussed
• Balanced treatment: Appropriate attention to positive and negative aspects
• Relevant examples: "Three-strikes" laws example supports main arguments
• Clear position: Balanced perspective with reasoned conclusion

Idea Development:

• Advantages: Deterrent effect, public safety protection, justice satisfaction
• Disadvantages: Limited rehabilitation, high costs, social inequality perpetuation
• Supporting details: Psychological barriers, recidivism concerns, budget implications

Coherence and Cohesion Analysis (Band 8)

Overall Organization:

• Clear structure: Introduction → Advantages → Disadvantages → Conclusion
• Logical progression: Ideas develop naturally within and between paragraphs
• Effective transitions: Appropriate linking devices connect ideas smoothly
• Unified development: Each paragraph maintains focused discussion

Linking Devices:

• Sophisticated transitions: "Furthermore," "However," "Additionally," "Moreover"
• Internal cohesion: "This approach," "Extended prison sentences," "Prison environments"
• Causal relationships: "thereby," "potentially," "as," "due to"
• Contrasting ideas: "while," "however," "rather than," "compared to"

Paragraph Structure:

• Clear topic sentences: Each paragraph begins with main idea
• Supporting development: Multiple supporting points with explanations
• Logical conclusions: Paragraphs connect effectively to overall argument

Lexical Resource Analysis (Band 8)

Vocabulary Range:

• Sophisticated terms: implementation, controversial, recidivism, retribution, marginalized
• Criminal justice vocabulary: deterrent effect, incarceration, rehabilitation, sentencing policies
• Academic collocations: psychological barriers, underlying causes, social inequalities
• Precise word choice: exacerbate, perpetuating, comprehensive, disproportionately

Collocational Accuracy:

• Natural combinations: "stricter criminal penalties," "public safety," "behavioral change"
• Academic register: "implementation of," "effectiveness of," "compared to"
• Topic-specific language: "three-strikes laws," "recidivism rates," "criminal justice system"

Less Common Vocabulary:

• Advanced terms: recidivism, retribution, marginalized, exacerbate, perpetuating
• Specialized vocabulary: incarceration, deterrent, rehabilitation, socioeconomic
• Academic expressions: "underlying causes," "comprehensive approaches," "balanced strategies"

Grammatical Range and Accuracy Analysis (Band 8)

Sentence Variety:

• Complex sentences: Multiple dependent clauses with sophisticated structures
• Compound sentences: Ideas connected with appropriate conjunctions
• Varied beginnings: Different sentence starters create rhythm
• Embedded information: Relative clauses and appositives add detail

Advanced Structures:

• Participial phrases: "following serious crimes," "addressing underlying causes"
• Conditional implications: Implied cause-effect relationships
• Passive constructions: "has become," "are implementing," "could alternatively support"
• Comparative structures: "compared to," "rather than," "more beneficial"

Grammatical Accuracy:

• High accuracy: Few minor errors that don't impede communication
• Consistent tenses: Appropriate tense usage throughout
• Article usage: Generally accurate definite and indefinite articles
• Subject-verb agreement: Consistent agreement in complex sentences

Expert Commentary and Teaching Points

Strengths of This Band 8 Response:

1. Comprehensive Coverage:

The essay addresses all parts of the task with appropriate balance between advantages and disadvantages. The discussion covers deterrence theory, public safety, rehabilitation concerns, and social implications.

2. Appropriate Examples:

The "three-strikes" laws example demonstrates knowledge of real-world criminal justice policies while supporting the argument about deterrent effects.

3. Academic Register:

The language maintains formal, academic tone throughout with sophisticated vocabulary and appropriate register for the topic.

4. Logical Development:

Ideas progress logically from general principles to specific concerns, creating coherent argument development.

Areas for Band 9 Improvement:

1. More Sophisticated Examples:

While the three-strikes example is appropriate, additional specific examples from different countries or contexts would enhance the response.

2. Deeper Analysis:

More nuanced discussion of the relationship between punishment severity and crime reduction effectiveness would demonstrate higher analytical sophistication.

3. Advanced Language Features:

More complex grammatical structures and less common vocabulary would elevate the lexical resource score.

4. Stronger Conclusion:

A more decisive conclusion with forward-looking perspective would strengthen the overall response.

Language Features Worth Emulating

Advanced Vocabulary Patterns:

• "The implementation of X has become a controversial approach to Y"
• "While X offers certain advantages through Y, it simultaneously presents significant disadvantages regarding Z"
• "The primary advantage of X lies in its Y effect"
• "However, X presents considerable disadvantages, particularly regarding Y"

Sophisticated Linking:

• Addition: "Furthermore," "Additionally," "Moreover"
• Contrast: "However," "while," "rather than," "compared to"
• Cause-effect: "thereby," "potentially," "as," "due to"
• Examples: "For example," "particularly," "such as"

Academic Register:

• Formal vocabulary: implementation, controversial, substantial, comprehensive
• Technical terms: recidivism, rehabilitation, incarceration, deterrent
• Academic expressions: "underlying causes," "long-term effectiveness," "balanced strategies"

Common Student Mistakes and Improvements

Weak Example vs. Strong Improvement:

❌ Weak Introduction:

"Crime is a big problem. Some countries use harsh punishment. This has good and bad points."

✅ Band 8 Introduction:

"The implementation of stricter criminal penalties has become a controversial approach to crime reduction, with governments worldwide debating the effectiveness of harsh punishment versus rehabilitation strategies."

❌ Weak Advantage:

"Harsh punishment stops crime because criminals are scared."

✅ Band 8 Advantage:

"Lengthy prison sentences and strict penalties create psychological barriers that discourage individuals from engaging in criminal activities, as the severe consequences outweigh perceived benefits."

❌ Weak Disadvantage:

"Prison is expensive and doesn't help criminals become better."

✅ Band 8 Disadvantage:

"Extended prison sentences often fail to address underlying causes of criminal behavior, such as addiction, mental health issues, or socioeconomic factors, potentially increasing recidivism rates upon release."

Essay Structure Analysis

Introduction Analysis:

• Context setting: Establishes controversial nature of harsh punishment debate
• Thesis statement: Clearly presents balanced view of advantages and disadvantages
• Essay direction: Indicates discussion of deterrence benefits and rehabilitation concerns

Body Paragraph 1 (Advantages) Analysis:

• Topic sentence: Introduces deterrent effect as primary advantage
• Supporting points: Psychological barriers, public safety protection, justice satisfaction
• Example integration: Three-strikes laws example supports deterrence argument
• Development: Each point receives appropriate explanation and support

Body Paragraph 2 (Disadvantages) Analysis:

• Topic sentence: Introduces rehabilitation effectiveness concerns
• Supporting points: Underlying causes, costs, social inequality, prison environment effects
• Comprehensive coverage: Multiple disadvantages with appropriate development
• Social perspective: Considers broader social implications beyond individual effects

Conclusion Analysis:

• Summary: Synthesizes key advantages and disadvantages
• Balanced assessment: Acknowledges complexity without taking extreme position
• Forward outlook: Suggests need for comprehensive approaches

Advanced Language Techniques

Vocabulary Enhancement Strategies:

1. Criminal Justice Terminology:

• Legal language: sentencing policies, penalties, incarceration, recidivism
• Policy terms: implementation, three-strikes laws, rehabilitation programs
• Social concepts: marginalized communities, social inequalities, cycles of poverty

2. Academic Collocations:

• "Create psychological barriers"
• "Address underlying causes"
• "Place substantial burdens"
• "Perpetuate social inequalities"
• "Strengthen public confidence"

3. Sophisticated Expressions:

• "The effectiveness remains questionable"
• "Disproportionately affects"
• "Exacerbate criminal tendencies"
• "Comprehensive approaches combining"

Grammatical Sophistication:

1. Complex Sentence Structures:

• Multiple clauses: "While severe sentencing policies offer advantages through deterrence, they present disadvantages regarding recidivism"
• Embedded information: "Countries implementing three-strikes laws, which mandate lengthy sentences for repeat offenders, have reported decreased rates"

2. Advanced Linking:

• Sophisticated transitions: "Furthermore," "Moreover," "Additionally"
• Causal relationships: "thereby," "potentially," "as a result of"
• Contrasting ideas: "however," "while," "rather than," "in contrast"

Assessment Criteria Application

Task Response (Band 8 Features):

• Fully addresses the task with comprehensive discussion
• Clear position with balanced perspective throughout
• Relevant examples support main arguments effectively
• Well-developed ideas with appropriate explanation and support

Coherence and Cohesion (Band 8 Features):

• Clear overall progression with logical idea development
• Effective use of cohesive devices throughout
• Clear central topic within each paragraph
• Flexible and natural transitions between ideas

Lexical Resource (Band 8 Features):

• Wide range of vocabulary with sophisticated usage
• Natural and flexible use of language
• Occasional errors in spelling and word formation
• Appropriate register maintained throughout

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (Band 8 Features):

• Wide range of structures with appropriate usage
• Good control of grammar and punctuation
• Minor errors that don't impede communication
• Complex structures used appropriately

Improvement Strategies for Band 9

Content Enhancement:

1. More specific examples: Include statistics, case studies, or country comparisons
2. Deeper analysis: Examine cause-effect relationships more thoroughly
3. Multiple perspectives: Consider victim, offender, and society viewpoints
4. Contemporary relevance: Include current criminal justice trends or reforms

Language Development:

1. Advanced vocabulary: Use more sophisticated and less common terms
2. Complex structures: Employ more varied and complex sentence patterns
3. Precise expressions: Choose more precise and nuanced language
4. Register consistency: Maintain high academic register throughout

Analytical Sophistication:

1. Nuanced arguments: Present more subtle and complex reasoning
2. Critical evaluation: Assess evidence quality and reliability
3. Long-term implications: Consider future consequences and trends
4. Interdisciplinary connections: Link to psychology, sociology, economics

Practice Exercises

Vocabulary Building:

1. Create word families around criminal justice concepts
2. Practice sophisticated collocations in context
3. Develop synonym networks for common crime-related terms
4. Study criminal justice policy documents and research
5. Build expression banks for different crime topics

Structure Practice:

1. Analyze band 8 and 9 sample essays for structural patterns
2. Practice writing balanced introductions and conclusions
3. Develop smooth transitions between contrasting ideas
4. Work on paragraph unity and coherence
5. Create thesis statements with appropriate complexity

Critical Thinking Development:

1. Analyze real criminal justice policies and outcomes
2. Evaluate evidence from different sources and perspectives
3. Consider short-term versus long-term implications
4. Examine cultural and social factors affecting crime
5. Develop nuanced position statements on complex issues

Related Articles

For comprehensive IELTS Writing preparation, explore these related resources:

• IELTS Writing Task 2 Advantages/Disadvantages — Crime: 15 Common Mistakes and Fixes
• IELTS Writing Task 2 Advantages/Disadvantages — Crime Prevention: Idea Bank, Examples, and Collocations
• IELTS Writing Task 2 Problem Solution — Juvenile Crime and Rehabilitation
• IELTS Writing Task 2 Opinion — Prison Systems vs. Community Service

Conclusion

This Band 8 sample demonstrates the balanced analysis, appropriate vocabulary, and coherent structure required for high-score performance in crime-related topics. The essay successfully combines criminal justice knowledge with sophisticated language use and logical argumentation to address all task requirements effectively.

Key success factors include:

• Comprehensive task coverage with balanced discussion
• Appropriate vocabulary with criminal justice terminology
• Clear structure with logical progression
• Relevant examples supporting main arguments
• Academic register maintained throughout
• Sophisticated linking between ideas

To achieve Band 9, focus on more advanced vocabulary, deeper analytical insight, and more sophisticated grammatical structures while maintaining the clear organization and balanced perspective demonstrated in this response.

For additional IELTS Writing support and comprehensive preparation resources, visit BabyCode.blog where you'll find expert guidance, practice materials, and personalized feedback to help you achieve your target band score.

Word Count: 2,487