IELTS Writing Task 2 Opinion — Advertising: Band 9 Sample & Analysis

Quick Summary: This complete band 9 IELTS Writing Task 2 sample essay tackles advertising's influence on consumer behavior with sophisticated analysis, advanced vocabulary, and compelling arguments. Learn from detailed expert analysis explaining why this essay achieves maximum scores.

Advertising topics frequently appear in IELTS Writing Task 2, challenging students to discuss consumer influence, ethical considerations, economic benefits, and social impacts. Many candidates struggle with these topics because they require balancing business perspectives with consumer protection concerns.

This band 9 sample essay demonstrates how to approach advertising topics with sophistication, using advanced vocabulary, complex argumentation, and compelling examples. The detailed analysis explains specific techniques that earn maximum marks from IELTS examiners.

Understanding how band 9 essays work enables you to apply similar strategies to your own writing, regardless of the specific advertising topic you encounter in your exam.

Essay Question

"Some people believe that advertising encourages people to buy things they do not really need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion."

Analysis of the Question: This is a discuss-both-views-and-give-opinion question requiring balanced analysis of advertising's positive and negative aspects before presenting a clear personal position. The question focuses on advertising's influence on purchasing decisions and life improvement potential.

Key Requirements:

Discuss negative view: advertising encourages unnecessary purchases
Discuss positive view: advertising informs about beneficial products
Present clear personal opinion based on analysis
Use specific examples and sophisticated argumentation
Demonstrate advanced vocabulary and grammatical structures

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Band 9 Sample Essay

Modern advertising permeates virtually every aspect of contemporary life, from social media platforms to public spaces, creating ongoing debates about its societal impact and ethical implications. While critics argue that sophisticated marketing techniques manipulate consumers into purchasing unnecessary products, proponents contend that advertising serves valuable informational functions that help people discover beneficial innovations. Although advertising undeniably influences consumer behavior in problematic ways, I believe its positive contributions to information dissemination and economic development outweigh the negative effects when appropriate regulatory frameworks exist.

The primary criticism of contemporary advertising centers on its capacity to create artificial demand for products that serve no genuine consumer needs while exploiting psychological vulnerabilities for commercial gain. Modern marketing employs advanced behavioral psychology techniques, including social proof mechanisms, scarcity appeals, and emotional manipulation that bypass rational decision-making processes and encourage impulsive purchasing. For instance, fashion industry advertising deliberately creates dissatisfaction with existing clothing through seasonal trend cycles that render perfectly functional items "outdated," leading consumers to accumulate unnecessary garments that contribute to environmental waste and personal debt. Social media advertising algorithms compound these issues by creating echo chambers that repeatedly expose users to products they have briefly considered, using retargeting technology that creates false urgency and inflated desire for non-essential items.

Conversely, advertising serves crucial informational functions that help consumers discover genuinely beneficial products and services that significantly improve quality of life and productivity. Without advertising mechanisms, innovative solutions to common problems would struggle to reach target audiences, limiting market success regardless of actual utility or value. Tesla's advertising strategy demonstrates this positive function, educating consumers about electric vehicle benefits including environmental impact reduction, long-term cost savings, and technological advantages that many consumers had not previously considered. Similarly, pharmaceutical advertising, despite legitimate concerns about overprescription, has successfully raised awareness about treatable conditions like depression and diabetes that many people previously suffered with unnecessarily due to lack of information about available treatments and their effectiveness.

Furthermore, advertising drives economic growth through demand stimulation that supports employment, innovation, and business development across multiple sectors. The global advertising industry employs over 500,000 people directly while supporting millions of additional jobs in media, technology, and creative industries that depend on advertising revenue for sustainability. Advertising investments incentivize innovation by creating market opportunities for new products and services, encouraging research and development that produces genuine technological advancement and problem-solving capabilities. Countries with robust advertising industries, such as the United States and United Kingdom, demonstrate higher rates of entrepreneurship and innovation partly because advertising provides viable pathways for new businesses to reach customers and achieve market penetration necessary for growth and success.

In conclusion, while advertising certainly encourages some unnecessary consumption through psychological manipulation techniques, its essential role in information distribution and economic development makes it fundamentally beneficial to society when properly regulated. Rather than restricting advertising entirely, governments should focus on implementing consumer protection measures, requiring transparency in advertising claims, and educating citizens about marketing techniques to enable more informed decision-making. This balanced approach preserves advertising's positive contributions while mitigating its potential for exploitation and manipulation.

Detailed Band 9 Analysis

This essay achieves band 9 across all four assessment criteria through sophisticated techniques and advanced language use. Let's examine why it succeeds at the highest level.

Task Response Analysis (Band 9)

Complete Task Fulfillment: The essay fully addresses both views required by the question:

Negative view: Paragraph 2 thoroughly examines how advertising encourages unnecessary purchases
Positive view: Paragraphs 3-4 explore advertising's informational and economic benefits
Personal opinion: Clear thesis favoring positive view with regulatory balance

Position Development: The writer maintains consistent position while acknowledging complexity. The opinion evolves logically from the analysis rather than appearing arbitrary or unsupported.

Relevant Ideas: Every paragraph contains relevant, well-developed ideas directly addressing the question. Examples (fashion trends, Tesla, pharmaceutical advertising) specifically illustrate the arguments rather than serving as general padding.

Coherence and Cohesion Analysis (Band 9)

Logical Organization:

Clear introduction with thesis statement
Logical progression from negative to positive aspects
Strong conclusion synthesizing arguments
Each paragraph has clear central idea

Sophisticated Linking: The essay uses advanced cohesive devices:

"While critics argue..." / "proponents contend..." (contrasting views)
"Conversely" (signaling shift to opposite perspective)
"Furthermore" (adding supporting evidence)
"Rather than...governments should" (presenting alternative solution)

Paragraph Coherence: Each paragraph develops single central ideas with clear topic sentences and logical internal organization.

Lexical Resource Analysis (Band 9)

Wide Vocabulary Range: The essay demonstrates extensive vocabulary including:

Academic terms: "permeates," "dissemination," "compound," "mechanisms"
Business vocabulary: "market penetration," "demand stimulation," "entrepreneurship"
Psychology terms: "behavioral psychology," "psychological vulnerabilities," "rational decision-making"

Natural Collocations:

"artificial demand," "genuine consumer needs," "psychological vulnerabilities"
"echo chambers," "false urgency," "market opportunities"
"robust advertising industries," "viable pathways," "informed decision-making"

Sophisticated Word Formation:

"unnecessarily" (adverb form)
"overprescription" (compound noun)
"retargeting" (technical marketing term)

Precise Usage: Vocabulary choices are precise and natural, avoiding awkward constructions or inappropriate register.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy Analysis (Band 9)

Complex Sentence Structures: The essay demonstrates sophisticated grammar:

Complex conditionals: "when appropriate regulatory frameworks exist"
Participial phrases: "including social proof mechanisms, scarcity appeals"
Embedded clauses: "products they have briefly considered, using retargeting technology that creates..."

Advanced Grammatical Features:

Nominalization: "information dissemination," "demand stimulation"
Passive constructions: "are employed," "would struggle to reach"
Relative clauses: "consumers who had not previously considered," "countries with robust advertising industries"

Grammatical Accuracy: The essay maintains high accuracy throughout with only minor errors that don't impede communication.

Sentence Variety: Excellent variety in sentence length and structure, from concise statements to complex multi-clause constructions.

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Key Vocabulary and Phrases

This band 9 essay demonstrates sophisticated vocabulary that elevates the writing quality. Here are essential terms and phrases worth mastering:

Advanced Advertising Vocabulary:

"sophisticated marketing techniques" - shows understanding of modern advertising
"behavioral psychology techniques" - demonstrates knowledge of advertising methods
"social proof mechanisms" - specific psychological concept
"retargeting technology" - current digital marketing term
"artificial demand creation" - analytical concept about advertising effects

Academic Discussion Language:

"permeates virtually every aspect" - sophisticated way to describe widespread influence
"ongoing debates about societal impact" - academic framing of controversial issues
"undeniably influences...in problematic ways" - balanced acknowledgment of criticism
"outweigh the negative effects" - clear comparative language for opinions
"when appropriate regulatory frameworks exist" - conditional language showing nuanced thinking

Economic and Business Terms:

"demand stimulation" - economic concept
"market penetration" - business strategy term
"innovation incentivization" - cause-effect relationship
"viable pathways" - describing business opportunities
"entrepreneurship rates" - economic development indicator

Critical Analysis Phrases:

"exploiting psychological vulnerabilities" - critical assessment language
"bypass rational decision-making" - psychological analysis
"compound these issues" - describing how problems worsen
"legitimate concerns about" - acknowledging valid criticism
"balanced approach preserves" - presenting moderate solutions

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Structural Analysis

This band 9 essay follows a sophisticated 5-paragraph structure that effectively balances discussion requirements with clear opinion development.

Introduction Strategy:

Hook: "Modern advertising permeates virtually every aspect of contemporary life"
Context: Acknowledges the debate exists
Balanced thesis: Shows both sides have merit while stating clear position
Preview: Indicates the essay will discuss both views before concluding

Body Paragraph Development:

Paragraph 2 (Negative View):

Clear topic sentence identifying criticism
Specific mechanism explanation (psychological techniques)
Concrete example (fashion industry)
Extension to digital context (social media algorithms)
Shows comprehensive understanding of the criticism

Paragraph 3 (Positive View - Information):

Contrasting transition ("Conversely")
Focus on informational benefits
Strong example (Tesla) with specific benefits
Additional example (pharmaceutical) with acknowledgment of concerns
Demonstrates balanced thinking

Paragraph 4 (Positive View - Economics):

Additional supporting argument ("Furthermore")
Statistical evidence (500,000 direct jobs)
Broader economic impact analysis
Country-level example with specific outcomes
Strengthens the positive case

Conclusion Strategy:

Restate position with qualification
Propose practical solution approach
Final recommendation that addresses concerns
Shows sophisticated policy thinking

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Why This Essay Achieves Band 9

This essay demonstrates all characteristics of band 9 writing through specific techniques that distinguish it from lower band responses.

Superior Task Response:

Addresses both required views completely
Develops clear, consistent personal opinion
Uses relevant, specific examples throughout
Shows sophisticated understanding of the topic

Advanced Coherence:

Logical progression from problem to benefits to solution
Sophisticated linking between and within paragraphs
Clear paragraph purposes and development
Strong introduction and conclusion framing

Exceptional Vocabulary:

Wide range of topic-specific vocabulary
Natural collocations and academic language
Precise word choices that enhance meaning
Sophisticated expressions and terminology

Complex Grammar:

Variety of sentence structures and lengths
Advanced grammatical features used naturally
High accuracy throughout the essay
Complex ideas expressed clearly

Professional Register:

Consistently appropriate academic tone
Objective analysis with clear personal opinion
Professional vocabulary and expressions
Sophisticated argumentation style

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BabyCode's comprehensive training system helps students achieve band 9 scores through systematic skill development, expert feedback, and proven techniques used by successful candidates.

Enhance your advertising topic preparation with these essential guides:

FAQ

Q: How can I develop arguments as sophisticated as this band 9 sample? A: Study the essay's technique of examining mechanisms (how advertising works psychologically) and consequences (effects on consumers and economy). Practice analyzing topics at deeper levels rather than surface observations.

Q: What makes the vocabulary in this essay band 9 level? A: The vocabulary combines topic-specific terms (retargeting technology, behavioral psychology) with academic language (permeates, dissemination) and precise business terminology (market penetration, demand stimulation) used naturally and accurately.

Q: How do I balance discussing both views while maintaining a clear opinion? A: Present each view fairly with specific examples and analysis, then use your conclusion to explain why one view is stronger based on your discussion. Avoid dismissing opposing views; acknowledge their validity while arguing for your preference.

Q: Can I use this essay structure for other advertising questions? A: Yes, the balanced analysis approach works for various advertising topics. Adapt the content while maintaining the structure: introduction with thesis, balanced discussion of views, clear personal opinion, and solution-oriented conclusion.

Q: How important are specific examples in achieving band 9? A: Very important. Notice how this essay uses Tesla, pharmaceutical advertising, and fashion industry examples with specific details. Examples should illustrate arguments precisely rather than serving as general support.

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